2006 was a very tough year for my Dad.  On October 9 his wife for over 50 years had a cardiac arrest at home and died.  He called me the next day and Lisa and I drove to Springfield, Missouri to take care of Mom's funeral arrangements in Kansas City and help Dad. 

Mom's passing was a deeply emotional and profound event for Dad, who had come to depend on Mom for so many things.  Dad was disabled in a bad automobile accident in 1969 and could barely walk in 2006.  So he couldn't handle many basic chores (such as taking laundry downstairs to wash) and taking care of their house and yard wasn't possible.  Lisa and I worked hard to understand what Dad wanted and needed and make that happen while dealing with our own grief.

Since Dad had been very happy about moving back to Missouri after several years in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, moving out of the area again wasn't even a consideration.  He had wanted to check out an assisted living facility just two short blocks from his home for quite some time, so we went there and he seemed enthusiastic about the place and the people.  The staff were very friendly and helpful and it was the best facility I have seen, even since that day.  We made arrangement for Dad there and then went to Kansas City for Mom's funeral.

The next weekend we were back in Springfield helping Dad move to his new home and helping him get to know the staff and neighbors.  He seemed happy to meet people in the dining room and to have all the familiar things we brought from the house.  We spent a lot of time with him, but we had to return to Dallas and work during the week.

Over the following weeks Lisa and I worked to exhaustion to take care of Dad's house and all the stuff that had accumulated there, as well as spend time with Dad during the weekends.  It was clear that Dad was suffering intensely from his loss, although he didn't talk about it at all.  It seemed typical of the man and his generation, who lived through the Great Depression, World War II, and other intense events.  They might talk about many things, but their feelings or tragic experiences just aren't for conversation.  Without similar experience to guide us or real opinions from Dad, Lisa and I had to guess about major decisions as we took care of him.

On a Thursday in early December I got a call from a service that we had hired to make sure he was looked after and took his medications during the week.  Dad had developed a wound on his left leg between the ankle and the knee.  His leg had gotten so painful that he refused to get out of bed for the three days before they called me.  I learned later that he had gone to see a doctor about the wound that Monday.  I went to Springfield that Thursday night.  Dad was in very bad shape.  I was able to get him to the Urgent Care facility at Cox Medical Center on Friday, where they examined him and declared that they could do nothing until his primary care physician was involved.  His physician was out on Fridays, so the next week I got to take him to a check up with his physician, Dr. Fry, who did not seem to have a clue what to do.  Then I did a lot of phone negotiations with medical personnel, who finally admitted Dad to the Cox Medical Center hospital on Tuesday.  Those four days were hell for my Dad.

Once he was in the hospital, I thought Dad would get the care he needed.  I was totally wrong.  The doctors seemed to have him on maintenance.  I heard from the staff that they had taken him to the hyperbaric facitility for treatment, but decided not to do hyperbaric wound treatment after he had been there for a few hours.  The doctor in charge talked to me about doing circulation assessments on his leg that apparently never happened.

On Friday, December 22, I got a call from the hospital staff that my Dad would probably be released from the hospital that day.  His physician, Dr. Steward, hadn't really discussed that with us.  We decided to bring Dad to the Dallas area so that he could get better care and we could understand what was going on.  The hospital did not provide an ambulance, so we had to drive Dad back to Dallas.  And we had to wait all day for them to "clear the paperwork" before we could leave at 7:30 PM.  We made it to Brookhaven in North Dallas to admit Dad there at 3 AM on Christmas Eve.

Dad didn't get any breaks in 2007.  He was admitted to the hospital and special care facilities several times.  In between he was at two different nursing care facilities (at Brookhaven, somebody stole his TV and "lost" other personal items).  He was evaluated for a leg bypass graft to improve circulation for wound healing, but the surgeon was convinced just before scheduled surgery that the graft was a bad idea.  Later Dad's left leg was amputated.  After a short period of improvement, he was sent back to the special care facility where he died of pneumonia on April 21.  In between December and April he got very little physical or mental therapy, but lots of antibiotics and other drugs.

I would rather write about my Dad's accomplishments and life than his horrific death.  Perhaps finally describing this experience will help me move past it.  Some months ago I resolved not to let this go more than a year after Dad's death, so here it is.  I still think about it every day.  While it isn't the positive sort of thing I'd like to write, maybe one of you will see your parents heading towards a similar unprepared situation with a bad healthcare system, and be able to take steps now to avoid this sort of mess.

-- Walter Lounsbery, 4-27-2008

A few years ago, I got a contract engagement through Kelly Services.  I was firmly convinced that they didn't get many candidates because they weren't a "name" in the IT contracting field.  Then they told me that they misquoted my rate because of some unanticipated issue (purely not their fault).  Well, they stuck it to me starting the engagement and then ignored me when the client reached the end of the contract period.  Very nonprofessional and I'm sure the clerk-typist placements get more attention and service.

So over three years later, I actually hear from them today.  It's nice to know that they are willing to help me with my individual career:

"Kelly Services is seeking a temporary employee with Advanced Microsoft Project skills to work for 3 days on the east side of Fort Worth near I30 & 820. This position starts on Tuesday, April 29th and pays $15/hr.
If you are interested, and you have the advanced skills in Microsoft Project, please call the Kelly Services Ridglea Office at (blah) blah-blah. If you do not have these skills, but you know someone who does, please have them give us a call! "

I bet the referral fee is at least $5.

-- Walter Lounsbery, 4-25-2008